Thursday, May 17, 2012

Diet Killer - The Willpower Myth

Weight Loss Transformation - Diet Killer - The Willpower Myth
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Almost everyone I work with comes to me initially reasoning they have no willpower. usually they say that's their biggest problem. They say they're incapable of maintaining "control". They've tried (and failed) at keeping that white-knuckled grip on what they "should" be doing, instead so often taking the route of instant gratification, only to regret their choices later on.

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But that isn't willpower! What is so often mistaken for "willpower" is de facto perfectionism: obsession bordering on the brink of fanaticism. This image of willpower is rigid, inflexible, and intractable; it's all those sharp, pointy words that sound like no fun at all. Of policy most of us stink at this kind of willpower! It's stifling. Who would even Want to try and live with that kind of force driving them day after day?

Real willpower--the kind we need to help us do the things we know are good for us--is much more gentle. Real willpower is about self-care. It's about doing what is best for you both in the occasion and in the long run. It is about nourishing yourself with loving care in body mind and spirit.

This kind of willpower you already have. Trust me, you have it! Every time you carry on to drag yourself out of bed in the morning you are exercising willpower. You know that it is in your best interest to get up, shower and get yourself to work. It is what keeps you human and active and fed. Even if you're tired or cranky or reluctant, 9 times out of 10 you carry on to do what needs to be done. You have willpower.

You might think you don't de facto have a selection in the matter; that you Have to get up or you'll get fired. You Have to rise or you'll starve and mess the bed. Nope, not true. Believe it or not, those are all the time choices. You are perfectly free to wallow in your own filth, get fired, and live the rest of your days mired on your mattress. But you choose not to. It just happens that this particular selection is pretty easy to make (most days). This "willpower" is also easy to enact because you're Used to it. It's something you do all the time and it has become ingrained in your life. Your habit is that you get up, shower, eat, and make it to work relatively on time. It seems easy because it has become so "normal". Other acts of "willpower" can become just as easy as this.

It is simply a matter of production a choice--a small, easy change--and doing it. And then do it again. And again. The way to make that first choice, to take the first step, is to check in with yourself and ask what you truly need. Try to think of as if you are a sensitive and loving parent to yourself. If your child needed a good night sleep, you'd put them to bed at a uncostly hour. So guide yourself to sleep at a uncostly hour. That's willpower! If your child needs a healthy, fortifying lunch, pack yourself the best homemade lunch to bring to the office. That's willpower!

See, it's not about having the drive of will to tackle things you don't want to do. It's about lovingly doing what is best for yourself at any given moment. It takes custom to parent yourself in this way, but the rewards are immeasurable. But you Are capable of doing it. I de facto do believe that you have the power to transform your life.

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